🚀 The "I Just Checked My Portfolio" Starter Pack
The Setup: It’s 3 AM. You’re staring at the Binance charts. The blue light is the only thing keeping you alive.
The Portfolio Reality:
SHIB: My "stablecoin" (because it’s been stable at -80% for three years). 🐕
PEPE: I bought the top because a frog in a suit told me to. Ribbit... I guess? 🐸
BONK: The only thing getting bonked is my bank account. 🔨
The Internal Monologue:
"Okay, if
$SHIB hits $0.01, I buy a private island. If
$PEPE flips Ethereum, I buy the moon. If
$BONK does another 10x, I can finally afford the extra guac at Chipotle."
Pro Tip: If you refresh the Binance app fast enough, the red candles actually look like festive holiday decorations. It’s all about perspective, people! 🕯️✨
Phase 1: Denial 🤡
"It's not a loss if I don't sell. I'm a 'Long Term Investor' now. Totally planned this."
Phase 2: Acceptance 🧘♂️
"I don't need money. I have community. We have memes. Can a landlord pay rent with a high-res JPG of a dog in a hat? We're about to find out."
Current Status: Holding until my thumb falls off or I’m living in a decentralized cardboard box. Diamond hands, baby! 💎🙌
#Binance
#ShibArmy #PepeCoin #Bonk #CryptoMemes #ToTheMoonOrTheDrain